Day 20 - THE SURVEY SAYS...

Our parents spent a great deal of time reinforcing how special we are to the world. As parents we do the same and believe that our children are unique and can rise to a level of greatness. So when I begin reading my outplacement book and it describes my thoughts, mood and behaviors almost like a recipe, I begin to feel like a vanilla cake.

The chapter lays out that I am probably depressed; experiencing avoidance behavior; shifting my relationships; have lower self esteem and confidence; and lack a time structure. It is embarrassing to admit "yes" to all those statements. It is funny, I always thought I was a deep thinker, more soulful than others and yet this book has generically described all my emotions.

But the funniest part of all is the next assignment, to prepare a self marketing plan. OK... so I am just another number in the unemployment pool and my thoughts are completely generic...now let's get creative and market yourself. My mind goes blank, I don't know what to think. Maybe if I flip to the next page there is a preformatted plan for me and I can fill in the blank.. ha ha ha...

ITS A NUMBERS GAME
It is clear that to find a job you need to go into sales mode. Benchmark studies show that for someone to find a position there are key performance metrics including: The dreaded "how many hiring managers did you talk to?"

The outplacement firm suggests two meaningful conversations with hiring managers and 30 search related conversations a week. If that was not enough, we then need to track our successful follow-up calls a few weeks later. Basically the outplacement firm wants us to be stalkers...

When I was a hiring manager there was nothing more annoying than picking the phone up by accident and getting stuck in these calls. And you know, I for sure was not going to be available for a follow-up call. This goes against everything your parents and older brothers taught you about pursuing people. The dating rules definitely do not apply here. The thought that I may be considered mentally ill or psycho chasing down conversations to meet my project numbers really freaks me out. But you know what, I am going to do it and throw my pride aside. Hopefully, I won't get that label - you know the one like she doesn't have all her marbles ...

SENIOR CITIZENS AND ME
My mother in law and I went to see the Single Man today with all the other 65+ year old yentas. I was the only one without a senior discount. There is a whole drill with that... The women and men all order their tickets at the booth leading with "Senior Discount for... (the movie)." The concession stand lines don't get easier with the questions on discounts, products etc.. When was the last time you needed to discuss your Twizzler purchase with the concession clerk?

I guess - good for old people that they have reached an age that they do not care... what a great mental state. I felt like I did not have to explain why I was at a movie at 1:15 p.m. on a Friday. I really fit in except the discount thing. Maybe I can wear my "happy hat" (previous blog) and pass for the discount. I may try it!!

I used to love artsy movies. I would go to the theater alone and get wrapped up in the sub titles, cinematography and just the general avant garde nature. Now, these films annoy me.

This movie had great buzz as Tom Ford directed it and Colin Firth (I love him) was in it. You know what.. as it finished, I was empty. These movies always end sad and I found myself grasping for meaningful moments to derive enjoyment. I commented on the attention to detail, the fleeting moments of connection for the lead character and the clever use of black and white and color imagery.. FORGET IT.. what a crock of crap! the only thing that was great was Colin Firth's butt and the other gorgeous guys weaved into the story. I hope The Tooth Fairy with the Rock doesn't disappoint tomorrow with my daughter.

Realization - You really need to be an actor/actress through this looking for a job process. All usual and customary social norms like giving hiring managers space to reciprocate falls out the door. A job search is about being aggressive and hoping you do not turn too many people off in the process. Realization #2 - I think it is best for me to stick with shallow comedies while I am going through this work transition phase. I want happy endings!! Have a great weekend everyone ... talk to you next week.